Parenting your teenager: 4 dodgy myths - parenting
MYTH: All teens have to rebel, and the teen years will be miserable years for a family.
REALITY: Teens do have to break from their parents and families. That's good - if not kids would be breathing at home when they are 35.
They do, however, have to earn the privilege of being in charge.
MYTH: Once teens rebel, you have lost them forever.
REALITY: This is the fear of every parent, but it doesn't crop up in most cases. As the adage says, "Raise up a child in the way they be supposed to go, and when they are old they will not be off from it. "
Two very central factors are obscure here:
1) At some point, it is possible they could "depart" from what you have taught, and
2) they will come back to it.
This notion is elaborated on in Miller Newton's book "Adolescence: Existing the Risky Journey. " Miller calls this notion Withdrawal - Isolation - Re-emergence. His view is that all young people withdraw, and some will go so far as to segregate themselves. They will, however, re-emerge at some point. Part of the parents' job then is to be adamant the bond so a bond can exist when they re-emerge.
MYTH: Raising teens is easy if you do it right.
REALITY: If you pay attention to some so-called parenting experts, raising kids - even teens - is a walk in the park.
According to them, the only aim you are having effort is as you are doing it wrong (not like them, in other words).
The authenticity is that parenting is a labor-intensive task. In order to raise kids and teach moral character, you have to go alongside the customary culture.
MYTH: Your teen years were just like those of your teen-ager.
REALITY: Many of the creature issues they are big business with are very much like the ones you faced. But the world, environment and background in which they are big business with these issues is incredibly different. Don't make the confound of assessment it's all the same.
Leading parenting connoisseur Jeff Herring is a teen and breed therapist, parenting coach, loudspeaker and syndicated parenting and connection columnist. Jeff invites you to visit ParentingYourTeenager. com for 100's of tips and tools for parenting because of the teenage years. You can also subscribe to his free weekly internet newsletter "ParentingYourTeenager. "
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