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Your kids career - whose choice? - parenting


A curious thing happened to me today. Or more precisely, a strange accepted wisdom occurred. You see, my eldest son helped me bed in a new kitchen. He was the authority handyman. Me? Well, I was the 'gofor'. "Dad, could you go for this?" "Dad, will you go for that . . . "

And you know, it took me back to my childhood. I used to stand by MY dad's side, portion him mend this and build that. What a pride I took in those days, land a plank of wood at one end while he calculated it, or going into his toolbox to fetch a better screwdriver. The master and the apprentice!

Yet even with all my admiration, I never quite mastered the secrets of DIY. In my own house, I muddle because of jobs as best I can, or just leave them undone. Intermittently I'll send for a tradesman.

Yet come what may I raised a son who, like his Grandad, can turn his hand to no matter which - while I STILL stand and watch!

This exact creative talent managed to skip a generation, only to re-emerge with a brandish in my boy.

There lies the crux of this article.

We each come across our own talents, leanings, and strong points. As a educator I hear so many kids carp about their parents, who - with the best will in the world! - force their kids into curriculum choices or career paths which say more about the parents and their aspirations.

Why do so many of us be firm on directing, or even dictating, career choices for our kids?

Many achievable reasons bounce to mind:

  • perhaps we compensate for our own lack of achievement
  • or we want to bask in the reflected glory
  • we fear that if we don't push them, their talents will remain unused or under-developed
  • maybe we think we'll lose face with our neighbours, friends or breed if our child doesn't enter a high profile or attractive 'profession'
  • or maybe we just feel that as parents we know best

Talk about a recipe for disaster!

Trying to live our own lives by means of our kids tends to fill them with resentment. Go along this path and we'll soon come upon a breakdown in relationships, and our kids will boil with despondency and a lack of fulfilment.

Sometimes our offspring may even go along with our wishes because they want to please. They feel indebted for all we've done and don't want to disappoint us. The outcome here can be even more insidious: if a child or young person lacks one hundred per cent assurance to the path we choose for them, it can discernible itself in low achievement, depression and even bodily illness.

What a waste of everyone's time, energy, talents and resources!

On the other hand, we do want to guide them, don't we? We impulsively know we must give them the benefit of our experience.

So how do we go about it?

The key lies in ENCOURAGEMENT.

From the first doable age, egg on your child to be confident, positive, and optimistic.

And comply with them in all they do. Attach importance to their uniqueness, and enjoy since their creature talents unfold.

Avoid forcing any issues; concentrate on heartening growth and development, even if - above all if! - their talents take them along a road unfamiliar to you. Often, what a parent least expects develops into a major plus in their child.

Strive for open and unbiased expectations. If ballet dancing interests your child, cheer him or her to delve into that activity, try it out, and make a confident, realistic appraisal - don't try to force them into medicine or the law instead!

In high educate some teachers advance kids to make their curriculum choices to suit hope career aspirations. But this stresses many unsure kids. My guidance has borne fruit over the years: "Choose what you're best at and what you enjoy most. The rest will take care of itself!" And it does.

Again, egg on confidence and optimism. Because today and in the future, most of our kids will not enjoy the luxury before generations enjoyed - a job for life. Our kids need compliance in order to face change willingly and lacking fear.

By hopeful them to admire their hearts, we can do much to help them. Happy parenting!

Why do some parents and kids succeed, while others fail?
Frank McGinty is an worldwide available dramatist and teacher. His inscription includes motivational books for both parents and teenagers. If you want to acquire your parenting skills and cheer your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages,
http://www. frank-mcginty. com/peace-formula. html AND http://www. frank-mcginty. com/for-parents. html


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